Weekend, in no particular order.

Sunday Afternoon:: Wearing an absolutely adorable, newly purchased dress, I found myself at a baby shower Sunday morning. There I was, sandwiched between a bevy of women who were just like me [or so an outsider might conclude] and yet, completely not like me at all. As they talked about rubbing butt cream on their babies’ behinds and how since baby was born, their marriages have been lacking in sex, I was thinking about how much I drank the night before, trying to recall if I did anything I need to apologize for, wondering whether the boy I was talking to was actually cute, etc.

As it dawned on my how different I was from Them, I started to freak out a bit. Maybe I should stop being so much like me and more like those women, I thought. Maybe I ought to date one of those guys my whole family is constantly trying to set me up with and get on the road to marriage and baby and sexless days and nights, I considered. Was I a bad person/friend for having at that moment written off the friend whose baby shower I was attending because I don’t much like baby people, I wondered.

But then I noticed there were cupcakes. And I felt okay again.

Friday night:: As I boarded an airplane at LAX , I was pleased to see several dozen people gathered around the television screens in an attempt to watch the presidential debate. It didn’t even bother me so much that several people were nodding disapprovingly every time Obama spoke. I was just happy that people actually seem to care about this election.

Later Friday Night:: Four hours, three new table friends, two tequila shots and one horribly played poker hand later, I was one hundred dollars poorer.

Saturday Afternoon:: Spent some quality time at the pool attempting to improve upon the tan I gained last weekend. Ended up with a slight burn. Lesson:: Don’t be greedy.

Sunday Night:: Mental order restored. I don’t want to be tied down with child. I want to bounding around Knott’s Scary Farm with my friends, reenacting seventh grade. Which is exactly what I was doing.

Say it ain’t so.

This Palin thing must be a joke, yes?  I mean, really?  Vice President?  I doubt she could manage a Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory store*.  Someone who likes Palin please watch this video and explain to me how this is a good idea.

Also, by her logic, do I get calorie burn credit for working in a building with a gym?  Because if yes, McCain 08!

* I don’t know why the hell I thought of THAT store.

Hello, whale.

1:: On Sunday, I woke up early.

2:: I boarded a boat with my oldest [in terms of friendship length] and possibly craziest friend [for real, crazy.  but in an awesome way], plus several of her friends.

3:: And a lot of alcohol.

4:: I was feeling quite nervous because there was a boy on the boat I had previously dated [I use dated very loosely here] – and being bikini clad on a boat with booze and a guy that I used to like [who is kind of an irresistible jerk] is the kind of situation that is trouble for me.

5:: I was also feeling generally distressed because I still need to figure out where the hell I am going to live.

6:: And work has been brutal.

7:: And my car’s stupid “check engine” light keeps staring me down.

7.5:: And the devil Time Warner is accusing me of not returning a cable box that I so totally returned.

8::And I shouldn’t have eaten that cookie.

9:: And did I look ok in my bikini?

10:: Then a giant blue whale [seemingly bigger than our boat, which was 52 feet!] came out of nowhere and leaped up out of the water within what seemed like [but was not] arms distance.*

11:: I think it was trying to tell me to stop thinking so hard and worrying so much about all the nonsense and just enjoy the day and my pretty damn sweet life.

12:: The message was received.

13:: I ended up having am amazing day.

14:: While resisting the troublesome boy.

15:: And now have an awesome tan to show for it.

All in all, a top ten kind of day.

* Seeing the whale is maybe one of the cooler nature type things I have seen
in my life.  it was fucking HUGE!

Win some, lose some.

On Sunday, I kissed a pair of fancy shoes hello when Fancy Shoes returned my purple patent leather platform heels [yum].   Today, I kissed Fancy Shoes [figuratively] goodbye when our relationship came to an official close [we remain friends, I'm just being dramatic].

It is sad in the way that the end of anything good is sad.  I feel sad when I finish a cupcake, for example.  But Fancy Shoes was, in many ways, better than a cupcake [maybe not a Magnolia cupcake, but still].  He was good company and reasonable and easy to hang out with and he didn’t get mad at me when I drank too much [or mad ever, really].  All of those were good qualities.  And plus, it was very nice having a regular “thing,” if you will.  I don’t mean just physically, but you know, the routine  of it all.  Fancy Shoes will be missed.  Stay gold, Fancy Shoes.  [Hello, Outsiders!]

But on the other hand, it is happy, because it was time and it was inevitable.*   And also [perhaps mostly], because my elevator crush recently suggested that we grab after-work drinks.  And even though I said no because I felt like I had to say no, I kind of wanted to say yes.  And now I can [but actually, I won't say yes, because my friend pointed out that he has total douchebaggery written all over his fancy pinstrip pants PLUS he is an agent - so double no, which is too bad because I would have had a Fancy Pants to talk about!].  Anyhow, my point is that things feel exciting again.

I think there was even a lesson::

1:: No more dating guys who read my blog.  Ever.  It is awkward, and worse, my blog suffers because of it.  I could of told some funny slightly exagerated stories had it not been for Fancy’s awareness of this here blog.

* Too many “ands,” I know.  Can’t help myself today.

My friends are so depressed.

The end of summer, the plausible election of McCain/Palin [the Horror!!], the semi-tragic death of a man I don’t actually know, wall-street meltdown woes and the shit box of a day known as Monday have collided and caused a big bang of depression among my friends…and now me. 

I exchanged emails with not one, not two, not three, but FOUR of my peeps about how glum they are feeling.  And now I am thinking depression may be contagious, and I just caught it.  Dang, I feel sad. 

In the spirit of depression, here are three things that suck::

1.  I have to have my wisdom teeth removed.   ALL of them.  AT ONCE.  My dentist who I have been avoiding for a really long time because I did not to hear such news informed me today that if I don’t – really bad things are about to go down in my upper left quadrant.  Seems like one of my bastard wisdoms is invading the space of my other teeth.  It is basically like Iraq/Kuwait circa 1991 in my mouth right now.  And since my mouth is not a member of OPEC, the government isn’t coming to my rescue.

2.  So remember over the weekend when I was going to buy a loft?  Well, maybe not so much anymore as I may be saying bye-bye to my down payment.  Fucking stock market. 

3.  Seriously, can it be that McCain will win?  I have only just accepted this possibility four minutes ago, and it makes me a little nauseous.

ex girlfriend called me up
alone and desperate
on the prison phone
they want to give her seven years
for being sad

My oddly productive week.

Maybe it is because I turned old – or maybe because I am living among the olds – but all of a sudden, I am a person that gets things done.

Usually, I make an exhaustive list of all the things I hope to get done in a week.  And then I promptly misplace the list, until I happen upon it months later, still having all the same things left to do.

On Monday, I followed the usual protocol and created the list.  Only this time, I didn’t lose the list.  Quite the contrary.  By Tuesday, I had actually gotten something on the list completed.  And then another!  And another!  And the satisfaction of getting to cross things off the list was so great that it made me want to add MORE things to the list.

Here I am on Friday, with only one item left:: Figure out life plan (aka where to live plan)

Ok, sure, I left the hardest one for last, but still.  This is serious progress people.  This month marks the first time ever I paid a utility bill on time!

AND, I even maybe have phase 1 of a life plan in motion.  I am going to look at several lofts in Downtown tomorrow.  I am thinking of maybe possibly kinda sorta hopefully buying one!  The Great Silverlake Housing Hunt is turning into an abysmal failure so I figured wtf, may as well take the leap and find a place of my own.  Maybe.  I am very optomistic about one loft development in particular, which has a Primo Cafe AND an Urth Cafe.  It’s is like a thin slice of WeHo on the East Side.