Archive for May, 2008

I like it twice a day.

Posting that is.

Anyhow, so I am TOTALLY f-word-ing obsessed with that Coldplay iTunes commercial. I don’t like Coldplay so much as a band, but I am so oddly/creepily/hugely intrigued (and maybe a little turned on?) by the way Chris Martin flails his arms around during the whole thing. Especially around seconds 20 to 22.

Can. Stop. Watching.

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My day.

Below, please find a summary of my day.

1:: I discussed, among other really important things, the virtue of dipping crusty bread in soda, the personality traits of eastern European grandparents, and the deep pschological truama Halloween causes certain children. All this during the course of 100,000 words worth of emails. I know because I counted each and every single word.

2:: I determined once and for all that crunchy peanut butter is better than smooth peanut butter. Don’t let the Reds tell you any different.

3:: I broke my shoe. And not just any shoe. A Valentino adorably stappy sandle shoe that I spent bucket fulls of pennies on. This makes me mad and sad.

4:: I drank three diet cokes. I am soooo off the wagon again.

5:: I found myself a future husband. We are going to adopt children from European counties with really high tax rates. We are going to be very ELITE. I will likely refuse to sign a prenup so that upon our inevitable divorce (I am pretty sure he loves my nachos more than me) I will have the funds to finally hire that driver that I have always wanted/needed.

6:: I didn’t do any work. Like, ANY. I am trying to fill out my time sheet and I tears are coming to my eyes. I am pretty sure I can’t bill for becoming a Yelp! master.

7:: I ate a cupcake at 8:30 in the morning. It was free, I can only be expected to have to so much will power.

8::
There is no 8. That was it. 1-7 is all I did today. And it was fun. Thanks.

I have officially exhausted the LA dating scene.

I mentioned before that I was starting this crazy new fitness thing [CrossFit]. CrossFit is not in itself crazy, but it is crazy for someone like me, given that I am a slothful ball of lazy. Anyhow, fitness craze #2 for the month of May 2008 began today. All went well[ish]. I made it official and signed a contract committing myself to TWO workouts a week, each beginning at 6’o mother effing clock in the a.m. Feeling slightly giddy from my workout this morning [it is not clear why], which I pretty much sucked at, I went to work [truthfully, I stopped at starbucks first and got a gigante iced coffee, and THEN I went to work*] and hopped onto the gym’s blog which prominently features a group photo from their last event.

And what do I find smack dab in the middle of said photo? My life being what it is, I spy a guy I once dated. “Dated” may be a bit strong, as we went on a single “meh” date. There was, however, making-out involved, causing any future encounter with this person to be potentially awkward. Whats more, thinking back on our date, I do recall Fitness Guy telling me he did this bizarre workout thing that involved pull-ups and a rowing machine in the mornings that he loved. Lo and behold, it happens to CrossFit. I really really hope that I don’t run into him, and that if I do, that he does not remember me. But given my luck, I WILL run into him, he WILL remember me, and he WILL totally think that I am stalking him.

Universe:: 34
Diet Coke:: 0

I think I need to move to a new city, there is no safe place for me anymore in Los Angeles.

In other news, I broke down and had my first Diet Coke in seven days. And it was every bit as delicious as I remember. Oh Diet Coke [the beverage, not to the blogger], I love you so.

And in yet more news, I purchased the most brilliant dress for a wedding I am going to be attending on July 3. And with the arrival of said dress comes Operation Wedding Hotness. OWH merely requires that Hot Wedding Dress still fit me come the day of the event. This seems doable, even for me.

* Iced Coffee with “Energy,” actually. Misnomer. Did not provided me with any energy. It did, however, cost be an extra fifty cents.

Beautiful Day

I complained a lot going into the weekend because of the doom rain forecast, but today turned out to be lovely. I started the morning off with a hike at Runyon, and enjoyed it more today than I have ever before. The weather was cool and clear, the mountain [okay fine, hill] was totally deserted [passed probably 10 people along the way] and I was super motivated. I even ran half the way, and not just on the downhill either!!!

Lovely way to start the long weekend. Looking forward to more of the same.

Tomorrow, I am going to see Indiana Jooones! Yes, I know it is supposed to suck. But I don’t care. Indy gives me the happy fuzzy fizzy feeling inside. And Shia ain’t so bad either. 😉

Things I don’t like to admit.

I maybe kinda actually sorta like Carrie Underwood. I am pretty certain the lyrics below were written with me in mind.

“Last night I got served a little too much of that poison baby
Last night I did things I’m not proud of
And I got a little crazy…
Oh, my mama would be so ashamed”

[yes, I am watching the American Idol finale right now]

Not much happening.

God wants me to be fat. Otherwise, why would this be opening one block from my house?

In other news I am a) starting a craaazy new exercise regimen called “CrossFit” next month [will expand upon this when I am having a more articulate day], and b) on day two with no diet coke.

I have nothing else to report, except that I am really looking forward to seeing the new Indiana Jones movie this weekend.

Foutune cookie, don’t leave me hanging!

My fortune cookie told me today to “[b]e prepared for a new relationship.”

Umm, can I get a little more info here, Fortune Cookie? You’ve been right before. Like last time when you told me that I would soon be eating Chinese food – totally on point! I just want to be sure I understand what you are getting at so that I can make the most of your wisdom.

So when you say I should be prepared, do you mean RIGHT NOW? Tomorrow? OMG, what am I going to wear?! And this “relationship” you speak of – are we talking boyfriend? New gardener? New bookclub member?

Seriously, Forture Cookie, I am certain your intentions are good. But next time if you are going to get involved in my person life, make sure you are very clear. Because frankly, the ambiguity stresses me out.