Archive for November, 2008

It’s Raining Men.

For well over a month, I had no news to report in the love life department.  And now?  A relative torrential downpour.
Boy No. 1::  Fake Crush (previously mentioned here)

I got all dolled up Saturday night in anticipation that I would be in the company of Fake Crush at my friend’s birthday party.  Fake Crush was indeed in attendance as expected, but things did not work out as I had planned.  We made a bit of small talk.  He then proceeded to start text messaging some girl he had met at a bar the previous weekend, who then proceeded to come pick him up and whisk him away, proceeding to leave me Fake Crushless.  Upside is, his status as Fake Crush (as opposed to a Real Crush that I don’t want to concede I have) was confirmed when I didn’t mind his departure.

Boy No. 2::  Shaggy Haired Boy

Shaggy Haired Boy swooped in and posted up shortly after Fake Crush’s departure.  I had done some mild flirting with Shaggy Haired Boy a few weeks back at a certain 80’s prom party, but had dismissed him as having any real qualifying potential on account of the fact that he just turned 24.  Not that I am suggesting that it was anything more than the vodka talking – but on Saturday night he all of a sudden seemed highly appealing to me.  Since Saturday, we’ve become fast facebook friends (which I think is how The Youngs express interest) and I have been invited to “hang.”

Boy No. 3::  Ratatouille

Ratatouille has quite a back story.  But the short version is that we met several years ago at a family function, went on a few dates that I thought were awesome but he apparently didn’t because he never asked me out again or called me back.  Then a year or so later he wanted to go out again, but by that time I was like “fuck you, you should have liked me when I liked you,” etc.

Fast forward to now, and another family function, and another chance meeting with Ratatouille.  I didn’t expect him to be there and was very ill prepared for the meeting.  In fact, I am pretty sure I turned beet red when he came up to talk to me.  And when he wanted to talk about that time we dated, my body temperature rose a solid fifteen degrees.  In a very awkward ten minute conversation that seemed to last five lifetimes he explained how he too had thought those dates were awesome but that his father had just passed away at that time and he was in a bad place.
He wanted us to go out again.  I tried to reply with my voice cracking that I understood but that I had really liked him then, which had turned to strong dislike when he ditched me, which had turned to ambivalence that I was not sure that I could turn back into like.  Except that what I really said was more like: “umm, errr I don’t know.  Umm, I have to, umm, think about it.  Maybe.”

The truth is that I do want to go out with him again.  But when I try to imagine what it would be like, I can’t even fantasize that it would be anything other than cringe-inducingly awkward.  So I think I would rather save myself the agony.  Plus the fact that I totally cried over him the last time around, and would feel supremely lame it that were to happen again.

Blogger’s Block.

I want to post on my blog.  I really do.  So much so that in the last two weeks I have started countless posts on topics including::

* The time I went to the eye doctor [last Friday] and Mr. T of A-Team fame was there and was totally loud and insane and hilarious.

*
My new fake crush on a guy I sometimes hang out with which is based solely on the fact that I don’t have a real crush on anyone right now which feels odd and boring.

* My disappointment in certain lady friends of mine who are not giving to a very charitable cause I am organizing on the basis of the economy.  [I mean, yeah, the economy sucks, but I don’t see how 5 series BMW driving yoga-hoppers can’t afford a $20 dollar contribution to help a HOMELESS FAMILY.]

*
How realizing how much my father has aged completely terrifies me.

*
My 80’s prom party where I totally rocked the most hideously glorious outfit I have rocked ever since 1994.  And the late night Denny’s mayhem that ensued after wards.

*
My growing collection of Shepard Fairey art, which I am realizing I have no idea how to properly store them.

*
My ability to FINALLY, after approximately one year of bitching about it, lose five pounds.  I find of cheated [signed up for a meal delivery service], but still.  Good for me.

*
How I ate a completely forbidden piece of chocolate immediately after I congratulated myself for losing weight in the point above.

* How I gave a presentation to my entire law firm with headings taken from hip-hip songs and that everyone loved because it is funny when a nerdy white-bread lawyer quotes hip-hop songs in presenting on the material adverse effect clause.  By everyone, I mostly mean my boss, who said it was the best presentation yet, which it totally wasn’t.

But once I write a sentence or two, I hit a wall.  And then I give up.  In fact, it is happening again right now.

Back to the blog.

I have not posted in a while.  Between my obsession with reading every single article written about the election [some more than once] and becoming a yogi, I got a little side-tracked.  Now that my days have freed up considerably, I am back.  Below are a few of the things that have been on my mind.
Poquito Mas:: I love this place. A lot.  I frequent the one on Westwood Blvd at least once a month.  And each time I am bewildered by why a fairly large restaurant has relegated its salsa bar [which is kind of the best thing about this place, and not just because I am partial to bars] to one itty bitty square nanoinch in the corner.  And why the salsa cups, that at maximum capacity, offer up enough goods to service two tortilla chips?  It ain’t right.  Can we please do something about this?  Yes we can.

Obama:: Holy shit!  The black, secret muslim, terrorist fist-jabber won!  This makes me intensely happy.  Regardless of what you think of Obama’s politics [which I happen to agree with for the most part, except that I don’t want to have to pay more taxes, but who the fuck does – so I will deal with it], you [yes, YOU] have to respect that he has reinvigorated people in a way that has not happened in forever.  Well, at least forever in my life time, which for me, is kind of all that counts.  I for one, am looking forward to seeing how he does in office.

Shower Parties:: These need to stop.  It seems the people I know have all decided that they need babies or husbands, which is fine [you know, people choosing their own lifestyles and all.  Apparently a novel concept in California] EXCEPT that their choices require my attendance at various sundry shower parties.  These things are not fun.  Ladies, stop it.  Please.  It also occurred to me that the only way to end this torture is to turn them from ladies only events to co-ed get togethers.  No way it was last, as men will probably be unwilling to give up their Sunday afternoon to guess the circumference of someones belly or to match photos of celebrity babies to their parents [I so own that game, btw].
Proposition 8:: Seriously, California, what the fuck?  My crazy christian sort-of friend tells me that while he loves The Gays as people, god told him [by text message?  email?  robocall?] that being gay is a sin, thus The Gays ought not be allowed to marry.  But really, if committing sins was grounds for rights deprivation, I’m pretty sure we’d all be in trouble.  Or I would at least.  Then again, maybe all sinners should be banned from marriage.  That would mean fewer shower parties, at least.

Soon We’ll Be Found.

Some songs are just too sad to listen to.  Sia’s Soon We’ll Be Found is one of them.

Other than that, I am swamped at work and excited for Obama to pass and Proposition 8 to fail tomorrow.  Will resume normal posting schedule soon!