Archive for November, 2009

G-mail:: saved my blog/nearly killed my relationship.

So a funny/awful thing happened.  And in the end, it means [SPOILER ALERT] I can freely blog again.  Read below for the deets, if you can manage to muddle through my story.

Remember that guy I met in the poker room last Thanksgiving?* That one who was 23 [24 now, thank you very much!]?  The one with whom a relationship was impractical, stupid, crazy, etc.?  Yeah, well.  We are still dating.  He moved here to Los Angeles for the summer [last summer] for work…and so we could spend some time together.   And I kinda, maybe, totally have fallen in love with him.

Boyfriend has since moved back to a certain shit box state that rhymes with Trichigan, finishing his last semester of grad school.  And upon graduation, God/Buddha/L. Ron willing, he will be moving back to Los Angeles.  To be with me [fingers crossed].

Boyfriend doesn’t know about this here blog.  Because why?  Because I didn’t tell him initially –  it seemed unfair that he should know so much about me so easily.  And then I hadn’t told him for so long, it seemed bizarre to just spring it on him.  And then when I could have told him, I didn’t [I fear judgment] – and the opportunity passed.  Plus, my blog is super secret, duh.  My own friends don’t know about it.  [Ok, fine.  A few do.  But most don’t.] Sooooo, I figured [convinced myself] that as long as I don’t keep writing, it was cool, because there was no betrayal [i.e.,  I was not keeping an ongoing secret].

And THEN…there was betrayal.  BUT NOT BY ME!!!  Oh, no!  By Boyfriend.

The betrayal story::

I spent Halloween with my friends at a certain hotel in Hollywood [I was an awesome homemade cupcake, in case you were wondering].  My cellie didn’t fit in my costume, so I left it in the room.  And then I drank.  And then I drank a lot more.  And then I came back and sent some totally incoherent text messages to Boyfriend…at 5 am.  Boyfriend, apparently, was concerned that I was cheating on him? [I don’t know why he thought this.  It doesn’t make much sense because I am totes not, and because I am constantly professing my love for him like every five seconds.  How could I have time to cheat between every five seconds love professions?] When I called Boyfriend the next afternoon to catch up and tell him about my awesome night, he was acting completely strange.  After our conversation, I confusedly sat back on my couch trying to figure out what was going on with Boyfriend.  And then it occurred to me that a few days prior, I had asked Boyfriend to check my Pilates Plus** schedule online [I was without access to the Internets, blah blah].  My Pilates Plus password is [WAS] the same as my gmail password.  Could it be that Boyfriend had checked my gmail?  No fucking way, right?  But maybe.

I logged on to gmail, looked at my account activity, and wham, bam, boom.   Someone [aka Boyfriend] had logged in while I slept.  This someone had an IP address located in Same Town as Boyfriend, Trichigan.***

Why am I telling you this whole long drawn out-story?  Because I have rationalized that since Boyfriend checked my gmail account while I was sleeping, I am permitted to write about him and everything else on my super secret blog.  Eye for an eye, or whatever.  Except in this case, confessed betrayal for possible betrayal [depending how you look at it] that will hopefully be forever undiscovered.
What I am saying is – I am back. [And rusty, I know]

* I kind of love that I spent last Thanksgiving in a poker room.  I don’t know why I love it, as all it really says about me is that I am a total degenerate.

** Holy shit, Pilates Plus is awesome.  I am now, as a result of these classes, with muscle.

*** Boyfriend later voluntarily confessed to his stupid, stupid shenanigans – and we moved on.  I was surprisingly understanding.  Sure, I was shocked and mad – but I kinda also understood the urge.

Random question.

If you enter into the witness protection program, what happens to all of your outstanding debt?  Do your student loans, mortgages, credit card bills, etc. follow you to your new identity?  They can’t, right?  Otherwise, some crafty mobster would surely pay off some administrator in Sallie Mae or Capital One, and BAM – the protected witness is donezo.  Just sayin.