Posts Tagged 't/s'

Not so much "game over" anymore.

Sooooo…T/S has been putting on the full court press. And I, ladies and gents, am a total sucker. When T/S asked me for a play day date this weekend, I searched for my “fuck off” attitude. I searched for it long and hard. And then, with a giant smile, I accepted his invitation. Where is my resolve? My indignation at his blatant flakery?? My disgust about his lying ways???

And the score at half time is::
Diet Coke – 15
T/S/F +4

Sometimes I think men exist only to torture me.


The sun came out a tad.

My Sunday has been far better than my Saturday. I went to a wake, which surprisingly, ended up being like a giant party, except that everyone was dressed in black.

Jupiter impressed me.

T/S is trying to work his way back in (and I am, thus far, doing a good job of keeping him out).

All in all, a good day.  I am alive.

Bad Decision Making Brewing.

I met a guy at a Halloween party. Jupiter his moniker shall be. Jupiter is charming in a weirdo, aloof, stoned sort of way.

His Pros:: potentially smart, occasionally really fun, engages in like minded activities as myself, drinks well, nice seeming, happy.

His Cons:: potentially an idiot, perpetually stoned and/or stoned seeming, lives outside my preferred 5 mile radius, doesn’t seem like he’d be terribly amazing in bed.

Anyhow, he just texted and wants to meet for a drink tonight. Normally, I’d say no, as I am pretty sure I am not interested in him. In fact, I was just telling my friend a few days ago just that. But tonight, because of bastard face T/S and his flakery, I shall accept Jupiter’s offer. Hopefully, the decision will not bite me in ass.

A new chapter begins.

Game Over.

T/S bailed on me, as I suspected that he would. Even a sucker like me has to draw the line somewhere. Ugh. I can’t lie – it hurts.

Onward butterfly.

It is Possible That I suck at Life. Maybe.

So I met this guy [herein dubbed forever T/S – as in Tall and Skinny) a short while ago. Think months. I won’t get into how we met, but it was unusual [Editor’s Post Script:: we met at a grocery store]. I’ve been seeing him for about a month now. And it is dawning on me sadly, that while the sex might be phenomenal, the man behind the penis may be flaccid. Yeah, I went there.

The real, truly, tragic part of this realization is this:: today, on November 29, 2007 I post this realization, a hunch I feel pretty strongly is the truth, and still, again and again, you will read posts from me complaining about how this guy is hurting, disappointing, pleasing, preoccupying and fucking with me.

Why don’t I walk away? Because, folks, it seems I am a masochist. Or maybe I am bored. I can’t really tell right now. My having formed this blog gives credence to the bored theory, but I suppose I may have a little self-torturing attitude in me too.

And just to beat a horse to death, the reason this guy may be/probably is a dud is because he presented himself as being honest and as having barrels of integrity, which is what I was drawn to. And already, I have caught him in two lies. I have two things to say about that. 1:: Why are people such fucking liars? Even the people I love. Lie. I am going to count how many lies I tell tomorrow. I wonder if I am a liar too. 2:: If you are going to lie…at least be good at it. I mean seriously, saying you are one place on Tuesday, and then forgetting where you said were by Wednesday is really pathetic. I am conflicted right now as to whether I am more offended by the lies or the lack of effort in telling them.

And finally, I didn’t confront him about the lie. In addition to my masochistic tendancy, I also happen to have a penchance for denial.

loving, living, driving (badly), laughing, growing, losing, crying, smiling, winning, learning, watching tv, calorie counting and thriving. in LA.


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